


Meant to Be

by ImaKaraTabiHe



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cancer, Fainting, Falling In Love, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Pain, Protectiveness, Secrets, Terminal Illnesses, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-03-19 17:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13709427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaKaraTabiHe/pseuds/ImaKaraTabiHe
Summary: Barry Allen was always determined to free his dad, but when he gets some news, he's more determined than ever.  Except there's this guy...





	1. Chapter 1

It's been several months since Barry had gone in for a routine check-up and been told, “We might have found something… We're going to need to do some more tests.”

One test became two. Two tests, became three. And he learned that the amount of testing one can do within a month is too many to keep track of. Still.. He'll never forget the moment when his doctor had come into the room, another taller, more formal looking doctor following close behind.

“Barry? This is Dr. Daniels.. We got your results back and brought him in to verify the results..”

“What 'results'!?” Barry had demanded. He had grown tired of being tossed from one test to the next. All he wanted to do was go back to work. The less time he spent at work, the less chance he had to investigate the unusual; the less time he could spend working to free his father. “I've been everywhere in this damn city, and no one's telling me what this is all about!?”

“Mr. Allen,” Dr. Daniels speaks up, clinical. “You have cancer.”

Barry can't believe it at first. Cancer? How can he have cancer? He's done everything right – except for all that ramen he ate in college, staying up late to do his homework. He's even been eating Iris' superfood oatmeal and seaweed snacks…

'...Why me?'

It's a question that plagues Barry late into the night, tossing and turning in his bed. What should he do about it? Does he fight it with medicines and chemo? Does he stay in bed and wait for death?

'Do you want to try chemo?' they had asked. 'We're going to be honest; it's not going to cure you, not with your cancer being so.. progressed, but it can help you to live several extra months.'

Does he want to try chemo? He knows what it is. He's seen what it does to people. It can help, he knows; but he also knows that it can make you feel horrible, can bring you down until you're sick in bed and unable to get up.

Does he want to try chemo?

No. He doesn't. Barry doesn't want his family watch him suffer. He doesn't want to die with his dad still in jail for something he didn't do. To his dad, he's all that's left. He refuses to give up. Maybe he can't win against cancer, but he's going to win. He's going to get the evidence to exonerate his dad. Since no one else believes Henry Allen's innocence, Barry's going to fight for him no matter what.

Even if he lost himself to it in the end… His life wasn't meant to last long – not anymore. With the little time he had left, he was going to use what what was left of it to free his dad; that he promised himself.

So he declined the offers for chemo and slid the packets about cancer care centers into the garbage without taking a single glance at them. “Thank you, but I'm fine the way I am,” Barry told the doctors. “I'm going to do what I want to do while I can.”

He started eating healthier, weened himself off of fast food. Barry began to exercise in the confines of his apartment, goes so far as to move the couch back so he could have a whole open space for it. He found health food stores, learned about some supplements that were good for fighting free radicals, for detoxing and cleansing his body. Something called 'Essiac Tea'? It was basically only four herbs – sheep sorrel, turkey rhubarb, slippery elm, and burdock. It was also called 'Ojibwa', or 'Cassie's Tea'.

Tasty it isn't, Barry finds out. But even the smallest stories of cancer going into remission by drinking it urge Barry to try. Even if it might be unlikely to cure such a fast progressing cancer as his, he has to try.

Of course, fighting cancer and working a full time job, as well as trying to investigate who it was that really killed his mom all those years ago, is exhausting and it doesn't work quite as seamlessly as he'd like it to. So, he asks for a reduction in his hours, more like part-time than full time, partially pleading for Captain Singh not to ask questions.

Maybe it's his puppy dog eyes, but Singh doesn't probe too deeply, even though Barry can see a glint of concern in his eyes. He reduces Barry's hours, physically, but he still allows Barry to take some cases home that the other CSI's are working on to see if they miss anything. It's a bullshit kind of job, but it's born from the captain's worry, so Barry takes it without asking.

He avoids Joe and Iris for the most part, only speaking to them when they force themselves into his space.

It's lonely watching them leave, but Barry needs to do this. He's the only one who has the drive, the determination to free his dad.

And it's the same determination that has him walking through one of the darker parts of the city at night alone. Sighing, he's pulls his coat up further around his neck. Barry hasn't been warm much since he started this whole endeavor. It might be the weight loss, thinning limbs. He hasn't been hungry much lately.

Not even the smells of fried food, wafting out from a dubious looking joint can awaken his hunger. Which is actually a good thing, because the next alley he walks passed smells like rotting garbage and he hurries to breathe through his mouth so he won't gag.

A moment later, he hears footsteps walk up behind him. Barry knows things are going to go wrong, he just _knows_ it. And he's proven right when he finds a hand wrapping itself around his arm before he's flung into a brick wall.

“You ain't going nowhere, kid,” a deep, gruff voice huffs at him. “Hand over your cash, and maybe 'll let ya go.”

There's a knife in the hand of the other man, both taller and stronger looking. He doesn't have a chance, but he's always been a stubborn idiot.

“How about 'no',” Barry questions, ramming his forehead into the nose of the man who grabbed him. Free, he runs, but finds himself jerked back by his collar. His ears ring as a fist collides with the side of his face. A kick to his side. A slap to his face. It hurts, but at the same time, he's kind of numb. Getting beaten up physically can't compare to the invisible war he's losing.

“Hey!” a new voice growls, startling Barry and the two men assaulting him. He feels the men get pried from him. “I know you two aren't starting shit outside my bar,” the newcomer threatens.

“Shit! It's Snart!” one of the men hiss to the other.

“Look, Snart, this ain't any of your business,” the other man tries. “You get your shit from stealing. We get ours from weak-ass twinks. Move along.”

Barry's eyes finally land on the man who's intervened. He's got a thick parka on, faux fur adorning the hood lining. And yet, Barry can tell he's muscled under the clothing. His face is perfectly sculpted, blue eyes sparkling in a way that makes Barry want to drown in them. His voice? Barry wants to hear it in his ears forever.

His eyes follow the man's lips as they curl into a deadly smirk. “ Actually, this is my property, so it  _is_ my business. You should know that low level scum like you aren't allowed to pull this shit here,” the man drawls. His arm raises and Barry sees a glint – a gun – in his hand, aimed at them. “If you feel so brave as to continue, you'll have to forgive me if my finger slips.”

Hot damn. Barry's never felt so instantly attracted to someone like this before. It's like a magnetic pull. He's so caught up in his fascination that he barely misses the way the men hesitate before they scramble away, falling over their feet in an effort to get away.

“You okay, Scarlet?”

Suddenly those blue eyes are right there, and Barry has to force himself to remember how to breathe. “You- who are you?” he blurts out.

His savior looks amused, eyebrow raised. “Not exactly an answer to my question, but I'm Leonard Snart, if it matters that much to you.”

“It does.” He's not sure why.

Leonard snorts. “Right. So. Are you okay?” He reaches out, brushing his hand on Barry's cheek gently. It feels so good, so soft… And then his hand's gone, and Barry  _misses_ it.

“I- I'm okay,” Barry replies, blush flooding his bruised and blooded face. His body aches, but it's not a big deal. It hasn't been since he first heard about his condition.

Somehow, Leonard seems like he doubts it. “Here, let's get you up.” Leonard's hands are on him, helping up stand. He wobbles, but the man holds strong.

“Thank you,” Barry manages to get out. He almost breaks when Leonard's hands leave him. He hasn't had someone there to support him in a while, not since he got the news.

“I was in the area,” Leonard shrugs. “It's dangerous out here, Scarlet. You shouldn't be walking alone at night.”

“I can take care of myself,” Barry can't help but puff up.

Leonard raises an eyebrow at him.

“Mostly,” Barry revises his statement, feeling his shoulder slump.

“How about I walk you back to the main road and we get you a cab, okay?” Leonard offers.

It takes a few moments for Barry to think it through. Yes, he's tired and sore. He doesn't want to walk all the way back home. No, this new, handsome man isn't going to know where he lives. He's just helping Barry get to a cab. (Why does he feel like asking Leonard to come too?) Is it a kind offer? ..Yes, Barry decides.

“Okay,” Barry softly gives in. “I'd really appreciate your help.”

Leonard's lips curl in a gentle smile, one that makes Barry's heart flutter. “Not a problem, Scarlet.” He brushes a little bit of dirt from Barry's shoulder. “How about we get you home?”

It takes them about ten minutes to reach a more traveled intersection, but those ten minutes are enough for Barry to, finally, get to telling Leonard his name. He might've stuttered just a little bit, embarrassed that he'd forgotten his manners, but still.

It's nice talking to Leonard – the sounds of their footsteps and the city overwhelmed by Leonard asking polite questions about whether or not he's in pain, if he knows someone who will treat his wounds promptly. He's sweet.

When Leonard - (“Call me Len, Scarlet,” Leonard finally tells him with a huff. “Leonard is a bit old fashioned.”) - When  _Len_ pays for the cab, refusing any attempts for Barry to repay him, Barry knows he's going to be sad to see him go. It may have been a short time since they've met, but Len's grown on him. The man's voice makes his heart thump in a funny way.

Barry looks up at Len from the backseat of the cab as Len looks in, door open. “Take care, okay Scarlet?”

“You too,” he blushes in return. “Thanks again. I'll see you around?” It's a big city, so there's not really much chance of them meeting again.

“See you around, Scarlet,” Len softly replies, an odd look in his eyes.

The door shuts, bringing a close to the horrible/wonderful night. As the cab drives away, Barry resigns himself to the reality that he'll probably never see Len again.

But he does.

Barry sees him as he's getting green tea from, Jitters. He sees him as he shops in the grocery store, putting kale in his basket. And each time, they manage to talk a little bit more. It's fast, but it feels so slow to Barry, so when Len asks him out for a meal - “Is this a date?” “It could be.” - Barry says 'yes'.

It's fun, eating with Len. Barry finds himself drifting away, feeling freer and happier than he's been recently. It's light, and Barry can smile without the weight of the world on his slim shoulders. And he can forget -

No, that's not true. Barry still finds himself staring at his evidence board, dad's case pasted everywhere. It's on those sleepless nights where reality fills the void, and cancer is heavy inside of him, rotting his body from the inside out. It's those nights that remind Barry that he's coming to the end, and now, instead of one regret, he'll have two – his dad's freedom, and.. Len.

Len, who he's come to love even. Len, who watches him eat the most healthy food he can get, who wrinkles his nose whenever Barry has some of his bitter smelling tea. It's Len, who holds his hand on a bad day and frets over his losing weight.

It's Len – _who doesn't know that Barry's dying yet._

He goes to tell him. He really does. Several times in fact, but whenever Len smiles, his eyes dancing with happiness.. Barry can't bare to tell him, can't bare to see the light in those eyes die and the smile fade away.

He wants to tell him.

But he doesn't. Until life doesn't it for him.

It's been two days since Barry visited his doctors again. He's holding up well, they all agree, but 'holding up well' doesn't exactly equate to beating cancer. It's almost sad, because why else would he wake up and drink his foul tea in the morning? Almost. He's still doing well enough that they're shocked to see him still going about his life so normally. (Normal for him, that is.)

It hurts sometimes. A lot of the times, really, but it hurts worse to be stuck in bed, knowing that something inside him is eating him alive. Len makes it hurt less, helps him to stay strong, so there's no question that Barry's spending lunch with him.

“So.. tempeh salad again?” Len questions, teasing lightly as they walk to a cafe they've both come to love visiting.

“Hey, one of us has to be healthy,” Barry plays back, smiling.

“Who says a burger isn't healthy?” Len inquires, face overly serious.

“For one thing.. research,” Barry starts, Len nodding along. “And for another thing… me.”

Len chuckles, nudging Barry's shoulder gently. “Well, far be it for me to question the health nerd.”

“I'm not a health nerd,” Barry beings to argue. “I'm --” His stomach does a backflip, making him cut off his words with a confused frown. It's done some strange things recently, but the way it's heaving feels like it's dragging him down with it. The road seems to wobble. He can barely feel his legs. “I think… I need to sit down..”

And then he's falling. The last thing he sees… is Len's face, full of concern, calling his name.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations.
> 
> Fighting has never been this hard, but Len will do anything for Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to minny16 & CasualGinger. Their support for the first chapter is what drove me to complete this fic.

Len's heart stops. Twice.

It stops when Barry goes still, face draining of blood in a way that makes Len instantly on edge. He can't even breathe as Barry goes down, eyes wide and unseeing as he fell. Len can only thank his quick reflexes that he was even able to catch him before he met the unforgiving concrete below.

“Barry!” Len cries. “Barry -” he notices Barry's not awake even though his eyes are open “-wake up! Shit, please!” Even though Len swore he'd never beg anyone for anything after he was turned away by the very people who were supposed to serve and protect, he's begging now – freely. Because this is Barry. This is the man he's come to love, and he hasn't even told him those three words yet.

He barely even hears that some passerby has taken the time to call 911. Len's lucky that someone actually took the initiative to call for help, since he knows that people rarely do something without being told in these kinds of situations.

Len almost lashes out as a paramedic tries to take Barry from him, but he restrains himself just in the nick of time. He babbles to them about helping Barry and he doesn't know what's wrong. Why can't they _fix_ him?

He blinks, and then they're in the hospital. There's some doctor there, who isn't an ER doctor, standing there, looking concerned. He's speaking in a hushed tone with occasional glances at Barry's immobile form.

_He wishes Barry would just wake up already. He wants Barry to smile and be okay._

“Mr…” a nurse slowly tries, gaining his attention.

“Snow,” the lie leaves Len's mouth as easily as it always has, even with his mind in chaos.

“Mr. Snow,” the nurse says, attempting a comforting smile. Len isn't deceived though. “Would you like to sit beside him? Dr. Daniels is going to be assisting in Barry's case, so they're going to set up a private room for him, but it's going to take a while. They need to make sure that they can  treat Mr. Allen's condition more easily there.”

Len processes the words slower. You can't blame him. He's just seen the person he loves collapse and he has no idea what's going on. “His.. 'condition'?”

The nurse blinks, looking at him as she slowly realizes that Len has no idea what's going on. As soon as it hits, she's frowning, sadness filling her eyes. She pities him. She 'feels' for him. Len hates that look.

He hates it even more when she turns to Barry's form and pulls his blanket up, delicately taking care to make it perfect looking. It's like she's afraid he's going to break. It's like she's looking at someone who's going to disappear at any moment.

When she looks back at him, tears in her eyes. “Mr. Snow… I'm so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this… Mr. Allen.. he has cancer.”

His heart stops for the second time.

The sound of breaking glass rang in Len's ears. He can't breathe. 'Cancer.. cancer.. cancer…' And he realizes that this is why. This is why he'd seen Barry's face fall sometimes when they were together. This is why Barry would hang onto him tighter when it was getting late and they were about to separate.

He's going to lose him.

Len chokes on his heart, and his hand unconsciously tightens on Barry's. _'Fuck.'_

“I'm.. so sorry, Mr. Snow,” the nurse says softly, so softly he almost doesn't hear it. “I'll check on Barry's room. If you need anything.. just ask.” And then she leaves.

She leaves, but Len can only ask the emptiness. “I need him..” he whispers, broken.

Len doesn't even look at the chair next to the bed. He just stands there, clinging to Barry's hand and wishing with all his heart, that Barry will wake up and this will all just be a bad dream.

_'Why won't it go away?'_

They've taken Barry away to set him up in a private room. The nurse promises she'll come to get Len when they're done. That's why Len is standing there in Barry's former room, looking at his hand and wondering why the fuck he let go of Barry's hand.

The door slams open, and Len can only jerk his head around, because that _can't_ be the nurse. No nurse or hospital staff would open the door so loudly and powerfully that it might hurt a patient.

His gaze lands on a man, huffing with wild eyes and panic on his face. The gun on his hip… A cop. It makes Len instantly tense, but damn it he hasn't done anything to be on their radar lately. He can't be the reason. Not now, not when Barry's -

“Where's Barry Allen?” the man demands, and Len's heart stops. As bad as it would be to have a cop after him, to have Detective West, Barry's _foster dad,_ in front of him… It's worse.

He doesn't seem to recognize Len. Not that Len thinks he could with all his focus on his foster son at this moment.

“He… They're moving him into a private room,” Len replies, clearing his throat as much as he can. Oxygen feels suffocating, even though he needs it to live. It feels like everything's just drowning him.

“Is he…?” Detective West seems afraid to ask.

'He doesn't know?' Len closes his eyes for a moment. Had Barry told _anyone_ at all? It doesn't seem like it. It hurts, but at least he's not the only one. “He's.. asleep right now, as far as I know.” It's not the truth, but Len.. he can't say those words. Can't admit that he's losing Barry out loud. It's just.. too much.

It's a lie. It's hard to see the detective slump with relief. To know that the relief is going to die soon and be replaced with something… darker.

There's a knock on the frame of the door as the nurse returns. “Mr. Snow, we've got Barry settled and – oh!” The nurse blinks. “Hello, may I ask if you're here for Barry Allen?”

“Yes,” Detective West says, eager. “I'm his Dad.”

'Foster,' Len wants to add, but he doesn't. He's heard about how Detective West refused to believe Barry when he told him about his father's imprisonment, blamed for his mother's death. Henry is a damn good dad, Len's seen. He can't believe West wouldn't believe his Barry..

“Oh, it's wonderful that you've come then. We've got Barry settled. Would you both follow me and I'll take you to his room?”

It's a question, but it hardly needs answering. Len follows behind with West, heart beating faster with each step he takes. God, is he going to have a panic attack in the middle of the hospital?

The sound of his own blood rushing in his ears makes him think, yeah, he might.

Barry looks more peaceful in this bed. The lights fall upon his face and make him look even more like an angel to Len.

It makes Len's heart break to think that as angelic as Barry is, he might soon become one. Fuck, Len hates the very idea.

He can't help it. Len walks right up to him and kneels down beside his bed, taking Barry's hand in his, afraid he might hurt him in some way. His hand is gentle, warm… He brushes away the soft locks on Barry's forehead with reverent care.

There are eyes on him, he's more than well aware, but Len refuses to allow the judgmental looks of some badge get in his way. He strokes Barry's cheek gently, hoping that he'll wake up soon.

“...You love him.” It's not a question, but Len nods anyway.

The detective stands on the other side of Barry, looking down at him. “Who are you?”

“Leonard Snow,” Len tells him, listening closely for an signs of realization. “I'm Barry's boyfriend.”

It doesn't take a genius for Len to figure that the moment West's eyes narrow, he's not going to agree. “Bullshit,” West growls. “Barry would've told me, or at least, Iris, if he were seeing anyone.”

Len shrugs, trying to remain calm. “Yes, well. I'm sure you know _so much_ about him.” Sarcasm was Len's long time friend, so why stop now? “You know he likes the color red, likes to watch the rain fall, but hates to hear the crackle of thunder. No? Well, how about how much he refuses to eat Cotton Candy ice cream, because 'it's not cotton or candy, and it's definitely not meant to be cold'?”

“You may claim to be his dad, but you still don't know shit about Barry,” Len seethes. It's not hate for the detective, not all of it at least. It's self-hate. How hadn't he known that Barry's dying? Fuck, he's such a coward. If he'd known… Len would've brought that damn ring with him to their last dinner date and done things properly.

He's getting confused. Not because of the situation, even though it's pretty freaking confounding, but, because of himself. If you told him years ago that his heart would be breaking and the most important person to him would be dying in front of his eyes… Len probably would've rolled his eyes and not believed it.

But here he is.

“You don't know a thing about me,” West hisses. “How dare you imply that I don't love my son.”

“Only by law. Not by blood,” Len reminds him, focusing his torrent of emotions on his anger at the detective.

“ _You-!”_

The steady beeping of the heart machine changes, and suddenly, the voice that Len thinks of as the most musical, cuts through the verbal barrage.

“..L-Len?”

Looking at the bed, Len can almost let himself drown in those gorgeous hazel eyes of Barry's, pretend everything's alright. But the IV lines.. the machines… It's not alright, but at least Barry's awake again.

“Son!” The detective interrupts Len just as he's about to ask Barry how he's feeling.

Annoyance seems like it's going to become Len's default position with the detective, with a side of the amount of like Len holds for visiting police sponsored events – distrust and bitterness.

“Joe,” Barry says slowly. “Wha- what are you doing here? I'm at the hospital?”

“You collapsed, Barry,” Len gently tells him, stroking his cheek. “Of course I brought you to the hospital.”

If  it were possible, Len can tell Barry would pale even further. “I- I...” His voice stutters, fear on his face. Fear of rejection and hatred.  Of disappointment.

“I know, Scarlet,” Len murmurs softly. “You don't have to tell me… I know.”

Barry's eyes tear up and he reaches up towards Len, bypassing West. Fuck, if Len doesn't take his hand instantly, wrapping their fingers together and treasuring his hand. “I'm sorry...”

Len leans forward, kissing Barry's lips lightly. “I know, Barry,” he murmurs lowly. “I know. It's okay. I'm here.”

With Barry smiling at him wetly, Len can't be blamed for forgetting about the badge in the room.

“Hey! No, no,” West threatens. “You back up. I don't know you, and I don't want you near my son.” The man scowls.

“Joe...” Barry tries to stop the detective.

“You could be the lowest of the low, and I don't want you coming near my son. I don't approve of you. You need to leave,” West demands, arms crossed.

“Joe!” Barry snaps, angry.

Barry's upset face certainly stops Len from popping the detective in the face. There is no way in Hell that Len is leaving Barry right now. Not with this. Never when it's him. The prospect of being arrest compared to the one Len loves is no contest.

“Len and I are together. It's my decision to be with him, not yours,” Barry growls, looking fierce even with the tubes. “You don't get to decide who I fall in love with. You don't get to make _any_ decisions about how I live my life. It's my life, not yours.”

Goddamn, if hearing Barry defend himself doesn't make Len swell with pride. That's his Scarlet. Yet while watching West pale in shock is amusing, Len definitely doesn't like the way color leaves Barry's face, nor the way the heart monitor beeps a bit faster. It looks like he's up.

“Barry,” Len takes his hand, holding it solidly. “You need to calm down, Scarlet. It's not good for your health.”

Barry looks at him like he wants to argue, but it seems that even he recognizes that he's getting exhausted from the anger and excitement. “Okay, Len..” Barry huffs without any heat as he squeezes Len's hand.

“I think you need to leave, Detective,” Len tells the man, eyes not leaving Barry, who's fading into weariness as he looks on.

“I agree,” a familiar voice weighs in. It's the nurse from earlier. She sure doesn't look very happy, eyes narrowed at the detective. “You, Sir, need to leave the room, or else I'll call security.”

“I'm-- I don't think that's necessary. I'm a detective with CCPD, and I'm Barry's father,” West tries.

According to the way the nurse puts her hands on her hips and gives him a highly unimpressed look, Len knows she doesn't give a shit. He likes her. “Out. Now.”

West looks like he wants to fight it, but Barry's quiet “Go, Joe” breaks him, and he leaves without a fight. 'Damn. Maybe next time,' Len thinks. ...So, he wants to punch the man, sue him.

“I really am sorry, Len,” Barry whispers brokenly.

Len despises the look of sorrow, of fear on Barry's face. “Shit, Scarlet...” He presses a palm to Barry's cheek. “I know… I know.” He doesn't say 'it doesn't matter'. They both know it does, but he forgives him. “I love you, Barry, and that's never going to change.”

Barry sniffles, eyes tearing up before his sight and running down his cheeks. “I love you, Len!” his lover cries, bypassing every single wire and just latching onto Len with desperation. “I wanted to tell you, b-but it was so easy to forget about it with you. You make me feel alive, and- and I didn't want to remember that I'm _not._ Not really.”

Len swallows. It feels like he's got something caught in his throat. He squeezes Barry close.

“I.. I don't want to die, Len...”

Hot tears fall down his cheeks, tickling his skin as they go. “You won't.” He won't let him. “We're going to fight this…”

“Chemo…” Barry starts, but Len can't help but cut him off.

“I.. You're not taking it right now, but that's okay. It's not the only way to fight cancer. We'll fight it however you want, Scarlet, and we'll win,” Len promises him. He's crumbling inside, but _fighting_ is something Len can do. Fighting is something he won't give up on. _Barry_ is someone he'll do anything to save. “You don't have to go through this alone. Let me fight this with you,” Len pleads.

Barry chokes on a watery laugh. “Of course you want to fight it,” he teases Len lightly. More morose, Barry continues, “It's going to be hard, Len...”

Len knows.

“I.. sometimes it's almost unbearable...” Barry murmurs. “I'm so scared that when I go to sleep, I won't wake up again. I'm so scared of… of le-leaving you.” A sob battles its way between Barry's lips.

“I'm right here, Scarlet,” Len says, pressing his lips to Barry's ear. “Nothing is going to separate us. I'll always be by your side, I swear. We're going to get through this together.”

Barry just holds onto Len tighter, tears wetting Len's shirt. Len doesn't care about his shirt. All he cares about is the one he loves right now. The most precious treasure that's in his arms…

He lets Barry cry himself to an exhausted sleep. Len thrives on the constant 'beep' of the heart monitor. He knows Barry isn't just going to die just because he's fallen asleep, but it doesn't stop the anxiety from eating away at him. Laying Barry back down, he pets Barry's hair. “I'll do anything to help you recover, Scarlet. _Anything.”_

Len talks with the doctor while Barry's out, never going further from Barry's side than he has to. He learns about Barry's condition, the vitamins, minerals, and naturalistic treatment plan that Barry's pulled together and got approval for. He pays off the hospital bills, pays the doctors to take special care of his Scarlet.

And when the doctors clear Barry to return home (“You still have to rest there, Scarlet.”)? Len's gotten anything and everything he thinks Barry might need. Or want. Although, something tells him that he doesn't really need the organic ricemilk ice cream, but it's ice cream. Barry likes it.

It's difficult at first. They both clash over how much Len spoils Barry, babies him. Barry doesn't want Len to think he's incapable of doing things, but Len assures him he knows. Len gives him a grocery list when he can't go, making sure to circle the _healthy_ foods. “Poptarts don't count Barry. No – the fruit flavor isn't real fruit.”

So time steadily passes. Len cooks more, gets organic and healthy foods. He even gives up coffee in favor of tea, and that's something he swore he'd live off of forever. Things change though, Barry's health is far more important than Len's unhealthy caffeine addiction.

Smoothies become commonplace in their home (because somehow they wound up living together before either of them noticed). On days when Barry can't bring himself to eat, Len's there with a smoothie and his supplements. He kisses Barry for each supplement he takes. (“I like these rewards,” Barry smoothly tells him.)

And Barry seems to be recovering. He has his good days and his bad days, but he smiles more often. He tells Len that he doesn't feel like he's dying alone at night anymore. He tells Len that when it feels like he's being eaten alive, Len banishes that feeling and makes him feel more alive than ever.

He outlives the doctors' expectations. 5 months from his collapse and Barry's still going strong. He gives all the credit to Len.

The doctor's are amazed and proud of them for going above and beyond.

That's why Len allows Barry to go to Starling to check up on a case. He would've gone too, but his friend needed him. Only Barry can convince Len to let him go. It involves a lot of kisses and promises to take care of his health, as well as calls every half day. Any signs of weakness, he's to go to the hospital there and Len will follow soon.

Len worries every second Barry's gone. How can he not? He's in love. Mick demands to know what's going on, but Len's not sure they're ready to meet. Maybe once Mick takes care of his fiery “itch” and Barry gets back they can meet. His sister and Mick have been dying to meet his secret love. They've seen pictures and heard stories, but they haven't met face-to-face yet. Len knows they will soon by the glimmer in his sister's eyes though.

“ _Hey, Len,”_ Barry's voice sounds over a voice message. _“Got caught up in a bunch of weird stuff here in Starling, but the Captain wants me back in Central to give a second opinion about a case they're working on, so I'm heading back soon. I think I'll even have time to swing by STAR Labs and see the particle accelerator!”_ He sounds so excited. _“I'll see you soon! Love you!”_

Yes, things are going well, Len thinks. At least, they are until he sees the night sky aflame with lightning, bright with the explosions of the accelerator. “Barry!” Len doesn't think his heart will ever work again.

Barry's phone rings. It rings, and rings, and rings, but there's no answer. Len can't help but think the lightning in the sky was a forewarning.

He's out and searching when the call comes.

“ _Mr. Snow? This is Serina at Central General Hospital ER...”_ Len's been expecting a call like this for a long time. _“Your partner, Barry Allen, has been brought in. He was struck by lightning...”_ Not like this. Never like this.

Having been there with Barry, fighting his cancer together, Len can tell you that he wasn't expecting to fight nature too. He can only hope and pray to whatever deities exist that Barry can fight being struck by lightning too, because Len's aching to see those beautiful eyes open again and look at him with all their glory.

However long it takes, Len's going to be there waiting for him to wake up, waiting to hear his name slip from those lush lips. Barry's worth it. He always will be. They were meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how this ending is, but I really wanted to get it out there.
> 
> Hope everyone's doing well.
> 
> Thank you~

**Author's Note:**

> Really hoping to finish this soon, but don't have high hopes for me on that. Work is so blah, and I'm a mess.


End file.
